Being Happy

There is so much talk on optimism, but somehow I feel that the world belongs to cynics. Whenever I've tried to display more than necessary share of optimism I have come across dirty looks of people. Basically, it's a trap and the people trapped in it will not allow another person to get out of it. After all, it is an attack on their beliefs and if optimism succeeds, how is pessimism going to survive? I guess in all of us there is an innate desire for being approved by others. From here, stems the chain that binds us to rules, rituals, religion, state, nations without anyone of us realising that such big terms and names came before us. Eventually structures become more important than being a human being.

Let's find out how this chain works? If we examine, all of us however empowered we look by our dressing, education or by our earning potential are not at all empowered in the true sense. Because there exists an invisible remote which is being wielded by others, name it--friends, family, spouse, boss, neighbour, fellow commuter on the road, or anyone who can piss us off by a smirk, an unkind statement or just by showing cold shoulder to us. We react in two ways--Either you're annoyed and express it on those who have done nothing to annoy you, or you sulk (if you're like me). Rarely there is someone who wears an invisible rain coat and allows such deprecating moments to slide off. I have myself felt that I cringe for having conversation with my husband when we are at home. Normally, he will throw monosylablles in my direction and watch TV (an euphemism for spending mindless hours) I feel that he pays more attention to TV than to me. In a way, he weilds the remote to my happiness. I urge all of us to get our remotes back, because if everyone else knows the key to make us happy other than we, our pursuit of happiness will be an eternal struggle.

And happiness is our intrinsic nature. When I look at Khushei, I see most of the times, a giggle suppressed. She can laugh for no reason and when you ask her, why you're being so happy, she says, " Because I am Khushei" Isn't she right? That's how all of us should be Happy. But being happy in a civilised society is not so easy. There are clauses attached to it--increments, better salary, bigger house, more loving spouse, designer wardrobe, fancy shoes, media coverage and then only happiness can be attained. But, when I look at people who have amassed more material wealth than I have most of the times they don't look happy. Then it implies that happiness can evade you all the time. And the pursuit of happiness becomes an endless trail. If we remember childhood, it was such a happy time because whatever we did we were happy doing it.

A thing called life

Life ebbs and flows and with it changes our moods. Sometimes you feel jubiliant and on other days you're sad and depressed. However, with time you learn to hide your feelings. Some people do that very easily and do it very well. Mrigya was one of those. Barely five feet she had learned the airs rich women would give all the time, but for the fact that she wasn't rich. But, she knew how to hide her feelings because that had to be done, if you had to live. Life itself acts bitchy at times, and to live well, you got to learn the tricks of the trade, confessed she, in her mind, poring over her computer screen. Yes, she needed money and that was the reason she was working like everyone else around. But, you lose that thing called prestige, if you admit to the fact, that you need money. You have to pretend that you're working just to keep yourself busy and that's what she did. She knew that women indulged in gossip behind her back. Shristi chipped in, Isn't gossip good for health? After all, we did a story on it. Yeah! agreed Paloma, giving those furtive glances. Paloma never looked straight, because in her heart she felt that she wasn't smart enough. That's a different story altogether that she was not smart, she was too smart to scare her competitors. But, who would make her believe this? She never felt it was right to assert and was always look out on an opportunity to satiate others.

A promise is a promise

I haven't written on the blog for quite a while now and the excuse is simple--I had been busy. I always believed that parenting is like learning on the job. No amount of advice from wellwishers, parents and books can help you learn parenting. Each child is differnt hence there can't be a neat and clean model for parenting. And, now the story unfolds--

While Khushei was growing up, we got her a piggy back to encourage her save money, so that she learns to value the virtue of being thrifty, which has almost evaporated these days. While I am talking of piggy bank, this reminds me an interersting anecdote. I know I am jumping but this is too interesting to not share. Once both my girls--Khushei, Kirty and their friends swerved their bikes on the main road and I happened to see them. When I scolded them, they said, There was a pig on the road and we didn't want to catch swine flu. Talk about being informed. Now getting back to my earlier story---

The husband in one of his good moods promised her that when she accumulates substantial amount he will contribute the same amount and double it. Last Saturday, was the day to do that and now Khushei has Rs 3640 in her piggy bank. No doubt, she is rich, but we hear her talking a lot about money and at times wonder, if we have introduced her to the world of adults where money becomes more important than a whole lot of other things.

I was discussing this with the husband and he says, A promise is a promise. I had promised Khushei and if I wouldn't fulfil this she would have stopped believing in promises. Yes, promises are meant to be kept, I couldn't agree more.