For months together I have been pondering on the concept of 'nishkam karma', which loosely translated in English means, " Do your work but don't crave for the results" and been wondering how is this possible? When you do something, you naturally get attached to it and how can you do effort if you are not sure about the result. Won't it be similar to creating sand house on the sea shore which could be swept away by the wave of sea anytime. How can you not be attached to your effort? What does attachment with detachment want to speak? All those self help books and Gita that I have read speaks that it frees you from the bondage to the effort which your longing to result ties you to. What does this mean? I do something, as if I am supposed to do it and do not desire results. Many months I tried to get the hang of this concept and read some more in the process. However, the meaning of this concept dawned on me lately.
When you put an effort in anything, your mind goes in the future tense and anticipates results which will come out of it. Then you are no longer in the moment but planning and thinking that if this effort goes right, I can do this. You may think, what's wrong in doing it? There is nothing wrong except the fact, that you are no longer in the moment enjoying and savouring it rather you are anticipating the result that will come out of it which is building more pressure on you in the present tense. As a result you're working harder. Sounds complicated, let me explain--
You went to the doctor who said that you have gained weight by 5 kilos and it's desirable that you lose it to keep your health in good shape. You and the doctor design a program of morning walks to lose weight and at the end of three months it would help you lose those extra kilos.
On the first day of the morning walk you are very happy with the fact that you've got up early and are going for it, and while you're at it you think that three months down the line, if you keep doing it morning, you'll lose five kilos and five years that have seemed to creep on your face. You will get in all the clothes that seemed to have become snug and your health will become better. You will get compliments from everyone that you want to hear.
What happens that there is nothing wrong with these thoughts, except that all of them are in the future and you are no longer in the place where you ought to be that is in the 'present'.
You are no longer enjoying your walk, watching the beautiful sun rise, feeling the gentle sway of the breeze and gazing at flowers that are blooming in the first wind of the morning, rather you are at a place where the results of your morning walk will show.This puts pressure on you and you decide to walk briskly to gain what you have just now chalked in your mind and you make a resolve that you'll walk in the evening too. So the walk that should have been an activity to connect yourself and defalte stress becomes a target-oriented activity.
Obviously, when you attach a target to something, you no longer enjoy doing it and then you will begin to come up with hundred excuses to bunk your evening walk. If only you had been in the moment and enjoyed it while doing it without attaching any result to the walking routine, your chances of adhering the programme would have been much higher. It's like kids never get tired of playing because there are no targets attached to it, but the same child will not resemble his energetic best while studying because he is studying to achieve something.
In fact, the mantra of life should be Do What You Enjoy The Most.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Monday, January 4, 2010
New Year Resolutions
For years together, I have dutifully made resolutions every year which couldn't see the morning of February 1. Most of them were made in haste and forgotten with more haste. But, this year I decided that I will dispense with the ritual of resolution, because usually they don't serve the purpose. And this has freed me. I am able to do what I wish, rather trying to do something which would reform me, because for many years, I have tried to reform myself so that I can become a better human being. The resolutions I had made could sound like--getting up early every day, sleeping on time every day, reading the newspaper daily, or just jotting down my expenses everyday and it could be as simple as speaking truth under all circumstances.
What does a resolution mean?
It means that there is something lacking in your life which you are not ready to work at willingly, hence you need to give your self timeline to coax and coerce your self in doing it. Just think, if you are not motivated enough to do something, can a resolution motivate you to do it. And, that's the reason most resolutions do not have a long life.
If you ask me I am against this whole concept of reforming and improving one-self. What does this mean, that I am not good enough, and I got to do something, so that I become better. This eventually implies that you are not supporting your acts and are there is a discord between what you do and what your mind perceives, you should be doing. Ultimately, this is going to create confusion in your mind. From our childhood we have heard of stereotypes and we keep proliferating those. Who hasn't heard, " Be a good girl/boy and Santa/ Mom/ Dad/Grand parents will love you more/ get you more gifts." What does this imply? Life is a bargain where you do certain acts to gain approval, which means that you are coaxed into being good. And resolutions spell the same sentiment.
Rather, than making a resolution that you know you won't stick more than a month, it's important to say that I accept myself just the way I am. Say it many times and it's proven that you will choose the path that you have charted for yourself through resolutions. It's impossible to fail yourself, more so when you have reposed trust in yourself just the way you are. Try it, it always works.
What does a resolution mean?
It means that there is something lacking in your life which you are not ready to work at willingly, hence you need to give your self timeline to coax and coerce your self in doing it. Just think, if you are not motivated enough to do something, can a resolution motivate you to do it. And, that's the reason most resolutions do not have a long life.
If you ask me I am against this whole concept of reforming and improving one-self. What does this mean, that I am not good enough, and I got to do something, so that I become better. This eventually implies that you are not supporting your acts and are there is a discord between what you do and what your mind perceives, you should be doing. Ultimately, this is going to create confusion in your mind. From our childhood we have heard of stereotypes and we keep proliferating those. Who hasn't heard, " Be a good girl/boy and Santa/ Mom/ Dad/Grand parents will love you more/ get you more gifts." What does this imply? Life is a bargain where you do certain acts to gain approval, which means that you are coaxed into being good. And resolutions spell the same sentiment.
Rather, than making a resolution that you know you won't stick more than a month, it's important to say that I accept myself just the way I am. Say it many times and it's proven that you will choose the path that you have charted for yourself through resolutions. It's impossible to fail yourself, more so when you have reposed trust in yourself just the way you are. Try it, it always works.
Labels:
resolutions,
what's a New Year Resolution
What's a prayer
For years I had been trained that when you want something and you badly want it, go to the God and pray him to grant your wish. And for years together my prayers have echoed the sentiment of deficit in my life. As if there was never enough and as if there will be never enough. I have prayed hard, I have fasted long and with one motive that my wish be granted. This wish could be for a family member or for myself and the wish had been granted more often than not and when that happened, I would have believed more in the power of prayers. I had not believed in the joy of praying to God for expressing my gratitude. For me prayers were like a spare tyre that I would pull out whenever an emergency came in my life. When everything went right, I wouldn’t pray that much, I would think that if I am doing my duty well and trying to be compassionate and kind to fellow beings, I am praying to God in my way. If this be the case then why did I need to deviate from that in situations of crisis? May be extreme situations demanded extreme answers.
While talking of prayers, now I am realising that prayers are a way to say 'thank you' to God for the small or big blessings that He has endowed us with. Life is all about miracles and they happen only to a believer. You think of someone and he calls, what is that? If you wish, you can term it as small ‘miracle’ of the life. I am beginning to believe in gratitude, which is being thankful to something when you get it. For many years, when I got a present, my first feeling would be how could I repay it back. Now I am learning to quit that attitude and say a simple ‘thank you’ when I get gifts and actually mean that too.
Now, that I no longer believe in prayers as a way to ask God for something, rather thank Him for what He has given me, my prayers no longer fall in the ritualistic pattern. I can sit still and smile for a while thanking God for everything that I have. I can listen to bhajans while I drive and thank God for a bright new and wonderful day that He has given me. It took me a while, but when I realised that as children, we need to thank creator for what He has given us. If we constantly crib about what we don’t have, we are creating feelings of negativity around us and negativity creates negativity. In fact, thoughts reflect in our mental status and body’s health and prayer is a wonderful way to cleanse your thoughts and calm your soul. It allows you to connect to your creator. Go ahead, choose whatever way suits you and express your gratitude to GOD.
While talking of prayers, now I am realising that prayers are a way to say 'thank you' to God for the small or big blessings that He has endowed us with. Life is all about miracles and they happen only to a believer. You think of someone and he calls, what is that? If you wish, you can term it as small ‘miracle’ of the life. I am beginning to believe in gratitude, which is being thankful to something when you get it. For many years, when I got a present, my first feeling would be how could I repay it back. Now I am learning to quit that attitude and say a simple ‘thank you’ when I get gifts and actually mean that too.
Now, that I no longer believe in prayers as a way to ask God for something, rather thank Him for what He has given me, my prayers no longer fall in the ritualistic pattern. I can sit still and smile for a while thanking God for everything that I have. I can listen to bhajans while I drive and thank God for a bright new and wonderful day that He has given me. It took me a while, but when I realised that as children, we need to thank creator for what He has given us. If we constantly crib about what we don’t have, we are creating feelings of negativity around us and negativity creates negativity. In fact, thoughts reflect in our mental status and body’s health and prayer is a wonderful way to cleanse your thoughts and calm your soul. It allows you to connect to your creator. Go ahead, choose whatever way suits you and express your gratitude to GOD.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)