Lesson Learned

(Khushei made this card for me when I wasn't well and look at the number of animals in it)

Such is life that our work decides everything that we do: when should we marry, where should we live, when should you sleep and when should you party? Essentially, all the details that we dismiss as trivial flow from a single thing called work. While running late for work and rushing home late from work, we don't find time to think and introspect on the journey called life and its purpose. Life revels in small details, usually ignored but very important all the same. Some of these details are---having dinner with family, cheering for your children when they need you, attending PTMs, meeting parents, catching up with friends, having a romantic date with your spouse. Usually, I am meticulous that I maintain work-life balance, but sometimes, I err too. Yes, it's a dent on my confidence, but I did err today when I couldn't schedule time to go an attend Khushei Presentation in the school. The little girl was busy making her presentation for the last three-four days.

As compared to me whose Power Point skills are just enough to survive, Khushei makes wonderful presentations for her age. We were not even allowed to have a glimpse of her presentation, and it was to be showed in the school today at 9 am.

Now, on a Friday morning going to school at 9 am is not such a simple task. This means you will be late for work or you got to take half day off. Somehow, both of us, I and Alok thought that we should do away with the presentation part, because it sounded inconvenient.

Whole day I waited for Khushei's phone from the school, when she didn't call, I thought that she did understand my difficulties but in the evening when she called, she was livid and I was ashamed of myself.

I realised that one of the jobs as a parent is to be there to cheer your children and to bolster their confidence.

Crazy Schools

I haven't been keeping well for the past few days. No need to worry and am not down with swine flu, but yes a flu like condition and the past week had been crazy and chaotic to say the least. In fact, it would be better if you could toss the two together and add a bit of mindboggling as well. Khushei was supposed to participate in a school elcotution contest, which was an inter-school competition and this girl was supposed to write a poem, learn it with expression in two days flat. And, mind you the poem should have a dash of humour in it, it should be long enough to be recited for two and half minutes. I just don't understand what these upmarket schools are trying to do. As usual, mom has to step in and we jot down a poem on Water

Drops of water

Pure and natural

Will quench your thirst

Reach for the bottle

My home is up in the clouds

But I also live in rocks

When clouds get angry

I am about to get a shock

When I touch the leaves

They dance with me

Kids jump in the puddle

But grownups escape for me

I flood the roads

I drown the rivers

When my job is done

I run to the ocean

When out from spring

I taste as sweet as sugar

When out from ocean

I taste so bitter

I create lives

Wherever I go

But I'm so precious

And this you must know

Want to know the result of the Elocution contest, Khushei didn't win because she forgot the lines, but we are happy that she participated.

Bye bye till the next time

What does freedom mean to me

This was the subject on which Khushei had to write on today in the school. Telling a nine year old what does freedom mean to her is difficult. For her freedom means the ability to do anything that she loves to do, but that's not freedom. Most of us would like to enjoy the freedom in the same way, but is that right? No, it's not, but what does freedom mean after all? I and she struggled to find answers, I going on and on on responsibility that comes with freedom. Khushei gave me a long face as long as the word responsibility is. And, I knew that I wasn't successful in explaining to her the meaning of that. Then I took her few months back when she had set free her birds Lucky and Mary. Only Khushei knew who was Lucky and who was Mary? Since, we couldn't get a dog because it demanded greater dedication than keeping a bird, we got home a pair of Love Birds. They were very much in love and their antics delighted us. One was naughty and another was shy. Till this date who was boy and who was girl is a mystery to me. Almost for a year they stayed with us and on their first birthday, the day when we got them we decided to free them in the sky. It was a painful decision for us, because we were attached to the birds, especially for Khushei, but it was good for the birds. And Khushei released both the birds. She was visibly upset after that, because she was too attached to them. She had painted and decorated their cage. We even got them a bigger cage and I would lovingly joke that in the whole of India these two Love birds have the biggest cage possible. This was the time when my husband was house hunting and was keen to buy a bigger property. Though, we haven't till this date, I would always say that Lucky Mary got a bigger house.

I hope and pray Lucky Mary stay safe and fly as much as they wish for ever. And, I get in some way Khushei realised the meaning of freedom.

CONFESSIONS OF A MOM

Let me begin by admitting a fact. I am new to blogging. Not that I haven't tried this, but I lack the discipline to jot down my thoughts on the blog. I have tried writing diaries too, but then like most of us I tend to be lazy, but I do admire the dedication of people who have the patience and perseverance to jot down details of their lives.

Last night my elder daughter Khushei was apologetic to me for not doing well in Hindi. The girl is only nine years old and I think, most children of her age tend to be not that good in Hindi. But, she was apologetic. Whenever, she doesn't score well, she comes to me and apologises, but not her dad. And, this comes to my mind, as I write this that she never apologises to her dad. May be she feels that she has let me down, or just may be I have been too harsh on her.

Let me retrospect, when I was growing up, my dad had put a whole lot of expectations on us and we had to perform just to save our lives. No he wasn't a tyrant, he wouldn't utter a single harsh word, but he would hang his head as if something massive has gone wrong and we have failed him hugely. I think in some ways I am also doing the same. May be I am just behaving like my dad.

Khushei is a joy to be. In fact, all children are, but she is an old soul, who is very kind hearted and much mature for her age. I should let her be just as a child and see how she blossoms. Having Khushei was the best thing that could happen to our lives, this doesn't mean that she doesn't have a sibling. We have two girls andn they always ask me whom do I love more? The younger one has become diplomatic now, though she is only of six. Whenever, I ask her, whom do you love more, she tells me BOTH of you. And she screams this anwer at the top of her lungs. But, if I am asked I love Khushei just a wee bit more thant Kirty, may be moms have a special affection for their first borns.

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