Striking balance

I have a tendency to go overboard. For me striking balance is neither simple nor easy. Either I will renounce the task or I will become extremely passionate about it. The passion  also brings pain. When things don't go the way I have envisaged I become disappointed, extremely disappointed. Passion is a double edged sword. It can cause agony too. And if you strip passion, how do you remain dedicated to the task in  hand?

For me either I will do it well or I will not do it, I cannot do it half-heartedly.  I  have a tendency to become emotionally attached to actions and many times when I reflect on it later, I realise that it didn't require the fervour that I had invested in it.

Do I learn a lesson? No. I continue with the same passion unabated and give up with the detachment of a Buddhist. 

How do I get to the median path? Does it exist in the real world? I have doubts. This is the most difficult task for me. Now, for folks like me, the ancient scripture Bhagvad Gita recommends to surrender without any qualm, reservation to the divine will. Allow the divine to take charge of affairs. But, if I surrender, to your will, will I still invest my 100 percent. How about my karma? Will I continue with the same fervour that I want to do?

Where lies the solution? The solution is attachment with detachment. Here lies the answer to all my agonies. When I stop being attached to the results, I become an honest observer. I am no longer emotionally strung with the result. My efforts may be genuine, but devoid of passion they are no longer manipulative. I am willing to accept the outcome.

The western wisdom calls it allowing universe to take over. I am learning. However, currently, in my present state of mind I try to reaffirm the outcome. This again is not accepted. As enlightenment will begin to show it's tiniest rays on the darkness in which my soul is plunged since ages, I will begin to disassociate the result with the effort. As a mere mortal, my job is only to do the effort with honesty. Nothing more nothing less. I have no option but to accept the result with equanimity. 

To set the soul free, each and every act that we take in the course of life and everyday living should be dedicated to the Almighty.