Finding confidence

It has taken a hell lot of courage for me to accept this. Yes, I always feel that I am inferior to others. How and when this concept took root in me, I just can't pin point that, but there is an inner voice in me, which loves to be harsh with me. Whenever, I err or do something wrong, that voice chastises me more than necessary. I keep brooding over it for days and keep reinforcing the fact that I am inept and do not deserve what I have.

Whenever I become an observer and try to assess myself, I feel that I am extremely talented, am pretty good at what I do and whenever I've interacted with people for professional or personal reasons, more than enough number of times, I have come across people who remember me and for right reasons. My children adore me, my husband loves me, I'm appreciated at work, I get timely increments, I do my job with utmost honesty, I am sincere in duties towards my elders, but still that inner voice in me keeps me comparing with others and tries to ridicule my abilities.

Enough is enough, of late I have learned a new way to subvert that inner voice. Whenever, it tries to be nasty with me and becomes a mean critic, I become an observer to the situation. The situation can be as simple as--forgetting to pay the bill on time, getting stuck in a traffic jam, denting the car while reversing, scampering to meet the deadline and in all these situations I say a magic mantra to myself. Had Khushei been stuck in a similar situation and had been upset what would I say to her? Khushei is my elder daughter who has just turned nine. I would have said her, " Don't be upset over it, you did your best and anyway it's too trivial to be upset with."

With this mantra I have discovered that my doubting self gives way to a loving self that's ready to accept flaws. I am still struggling with it, but at least I have the courage to accept it.

KIRTY LEARNED TWINKLE TWINKLE LITTLE STAR

We all have heard this poem, but how many of us know it beyond the usual four lines. My six-year-old Kirty does and the poem is pretty long. Let's jot it down--

Twinkle Twinkle Little star

How I wonder what you are

Up above the world so high

Like a diamond in the sky

When the blazing sun has gone

When there nothing shines upon

Then you show your little light

Twinkle twinkle all the night

Then the traveller in the dark

Thanks you for your tiny spark

He don't know which way to go

If you didn't twinkle so

In the dark blue sky you keep

And often through my curtains peep

You never shut your eye

Till the sun is in the sky

As your bright and tiny spark

Lights the traveller in the dark

Though I know not what you are -

Twinkle, twinkle little star.

Follow your instincts

Sometimes we tend to be angry with life when things don't go the way we planned. Like if a bank loan gets rejected and you've been coveting that property for long or you go for an interview and you're told that you won't be hired, but such is life that it has the uncanny habit of disguising blessings. I firmly believe in signs and signals, if something has to happen it happpens without trying much and if too many hiccups come your way it's a sign from the universe that the object of your desire is not in tune with universe.

There are two contrasting philosophies to this: one that says you got to try hard to get success and another which says that success comes with intent. I believe in the latter. Ultimately, you have to rely on the intelligence of universe because it's far more intelligent than you or I can think of. We think in terms of short term goals and gains but universe functions on a different platform.

Ultimately, I have seen that patience is one of the most desired attributes in anyone, but it's getting rarer and lesser in each of us. With ads announcing that Impatience is the new generation, who has the time and talent for patience, but patience works eventually.

Tell me can you bring a child on earth in less than nine months, and if you would do that the outcome would be fraught with dangerous results. Patience and perseverance pays and they yield results with rewards.

Finding God in Everyday Life

Somehow, I feel that God has been made a complex and complicated being, who has a super ego and who can be reached through elaborate rituals that have to be done just the right way. I always wonder if God is for us how could he alienate himself so much from us. What made him so big and so far from us who has to be accessed through pilgrimages, fastings and elaborate rituals. It's not that I don't observe rituals, but I try to keep them as simple as I can, because ultimately God is there for us and he appreciates my condition more than anyone else.

Whenever I see my girls laughing and playing I could hear the laughter of God in their smiles. When I held them for the first time, I felt I was somewhat near to God, because I created a life. And the task of bringing up children has humbled me. Each time I say them something or do something, which I ought not be doing I realise that by my actions I am shaping their world, their impressions about life which they will carry always.

I always felt that a little bit of God is there in all of us and when we do a kind act we feed that God which is there in us. That kind act can manifest in a whole lot of ways: saying a kind word, offering food to your part time help, knowing what's happening in the life of your presswala, sharing a smile with street children and at times praying for someone who desperately needs a good wish.

Many a time when I see the disparity of life I get very upset. When I see that a young girl has to bathe on a street tap I feel her basic right to privacy while having ablutions is being violated, and at that moment I send a tiny prayer to my God to uplift her conditions. I have learned that when I can't help someone at least I should pray for her condition.

Home Remedies

Ayurveda always belonged to India, so much so that we seemed to coexist with it, without realising its existence. No wonder, whenever someone in the family was running under the weather grand ma would concoct a recipe in the kitchen to soothe sore throat and shorten the nasty cold. We called it tulsi ka kadha which was served with love. West rediscovered what has always been our property and renamed it Alternate Therapy. Today, I thought let's go back to the grandma's recipe and fish out some concoctions which will help us boost our immunity.

1. Chew on few tulsi leaves every morning on an empty stomach.


2. When cold bug is doing rounds, spike your drinking water with lemon juice and sip on it. Not only will you get much needed vitamin C but lemon water also neutralises the acidic environment of your body and bacteria and viruses need acidic atmosphere to thrive.


3. To soothe a sore throat you can boil cinammon sticks in water and gargle with that.


4. Try having some adrak ki chai for a sore throat too, it works.


5. Garlic works wonders for your immune system. Chew on fresh cloves in the morning, if you can and if you can't you can try garlic capsules.


6. There is a herb called echinacea that promises to enhance your immunity. You can try it too.


7. Do not forget the healing attributes of chicken soup and if you are a vegetarian like me, you should make do with clear veg soup.